Beauty

The Graceful one...

Greyhounds are remarkable. It is difficult to find adequate words to describe them. They are ever so graceful. They are patient to a fault. They are incredibly thankful for the simple luxuries of living in a house. They are lazy, and will sleep all day if allowed to do so. They love and love and love unconditionally.
Greyhound racing is a dying sport, and that is good news. Until then, if you haven't considered adopting one, do. You will never regret it...

Nigel: It's about time you sang my praises. Sola has been a camera hog these days. So here is a picture, one I like to share with the ladies.....

Playgirl Pose

And then there were three...

So we had a bit of a scare yesterday. I was out walking Nigel & Sola and a stray Pit Bull Terrier came running around the corner to greet us. He was at my side before I could even move, doing the doggie handshake with Sola. A neighbor was there with her dog and he approached it. She gave it a push with her leg and we both yelled at it to get lost, which it promptly did. After changing my underpants I walked the dogs back home. I jumped in the truck to find out where the stray had gone.

Another neighbor was walking her dog through the village and the Pit bull was running up behind her. I thought I'd spare her the change of underwear necessitated by a surprise Pit Bull visit. I switched on my flashers and stopped the truck in the middle of the road beside her. She turned and noticed the stray, which was just starting the butt-sniff exchange with her dog. I jumped out of the truck, ran over to them and asked the stray if he would like to go for a ride. Apparently that was exactly what he was searching for. Perhaps he had been seeking out a cab, because when I opened the door he jumped in immediately. I jumped back in the truck and we headed home.

So we called the local animal control officer. And we called again. And again. Apparently he likes to keep his Sundays to himself. In the meantime I fed treats to our visitor and entertained him with a tennis ball. He thanked me with huge sloppy kisses and frequent tail wags. He pulled me around the neighborhood on the leash and collar I had put on him (he arrived nekkid).

Oddly enough, despite my fear of Pit Bull terriers he proved to be a sweetie. Except when I had him on a leash and strangers approached. Then he would growl and attempt to protect me. One of our previous dogs was a beautiful Dalmatian. She was so striking that all who saw her wanted to approach us and meet her. This was unfortunate because she was too protective of us and could not be allowed to meet strangers. It was sometimes difficult to walk her or have company over, but she was a wonderful dog and my wife was comforted to know that she was protected by her dog. Now we have that same sense of safety.

When you walk a Pit Bull it's a bit different. Cars swerve out of the way, schools lock their doors and women and children run for shelter screaming. It's quite entertaining, and makes me wonder if perhaps we should invest in a factory that can produce underpants at competitive prices. In any event, it would seem that the chap is here to stay. We have yet to select a name for him, but we are pondering suitable names, and have narrowed the list to Assault, Bleeder, Killer, Reaper and Stitches (in alphabetical order). I think Stitches is cute so perhaps it will stick.

Sola: How dare you.

Nigel: They've lost their minds. I'm sleeping on top of the refrigerator from now on. This is getting to be regod-damned-diculous.


Disclaimer: This story is true, except that you'd have to be smoking crack in order to believe that we'd keep a Pit Bull. We put that part in to give our friends and family aneurysms. After the animal control officer never showed up we promptly dropped him off at the shelter. Shortly thereafter a handful of rednecks in a beatermobile stopped our neighbor and asked if she'd seen a young Pit Bull anywhere.........

Pizza Stalker

Vocalizations

Sola has found her voice. And embraced it with passion. She barks at Nigel to play. She barks at us for affection. And when any type of meat or dairy products make their way to the dining room table, she barks with reckless abandon.

Nigel: Where did I put that Advil the humans dropped a few weeks ago? This girl has some serious pipes. But a few singing lessons are in order.

Sola: Can't speak.....losing voice....sang the "feed me pizza" song too long.

Deconstruction

I like sheetrock. It looks nice. It's much better than bare 2X4s. And even better than sheetrock with holes in it. Sigh.....

Nigel: Have I mentioned that Sola isn't smart? Wanna know what the humans nicknamed her? Shortbus. When I say Sola isn't smart, I really mean it. Sola was bred in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont. Never heard of it? Think Deliverance banjo music, weekend cousin swaps and snake curches. Getting the picture? Oops, time to lick myself. Oh, that's right - you humans can't do that. Poor fools.

Anyway, I'm sticking with treats. We get all kinds. No need to eat walls.

Author: Perhaps we could have additional toes implanted in Sola's front paws. Then she could just flip us the bird. I know she would.

Sola: I ain't real smart like, but y'all best lay off'n me. I'm just a young'n. And besides, where I come frum, you ain't gonna git good book learnin'. And just what is the matter with snake churches. Sounds like fun to me.
Ok, seriously:
So I have this thing. I really like big, open rooms. And if I feel that a wall is not in the right place (provided that such wall is not a load-bearing one), I'm going to try to remove it. How, you ask? One bite at a time...

And really, that wall does not fit the Feng Shui remodel that I have in mind for this place. Nigel, if you think you are so smart, why is it that the humans can't let you off of your leash unless you are fenced in?

Nigel: I'm trying to run away from you. You and your pee stains. And I really don't feel like having the roof fall on me when you eat the wrong wall. I told the humans I like my ladies dumb and blonde, but this is more than I bargained for.