Thursday, January 15, 2009

Celine Dion is not a dog.


Conventional wisdom, old wives' tales, the guy down the street - all hold that dogs cannot see television.

All are wrong. A quick trip around the internet returns many tales of dogs stalking televisions, barking; getting ticked about something they see. Sola is no exception, although her ability to identify and verbally assault TV critters was not immediately known to us. Her first few months were more furniture, wall and carpet focused. But have no doubt about it, she's a fervent viewer.

We first learned of these talents on a quiet, lazy Sunday. Nigel was passed out on the couch with Mrs. Author as I clicked away on my laptop, burning my way through a mountain of e-mail from work. Pausing, I reached for my coffee and changed the TV channel. A simple act, one we have all committed countless times with little regard.

The air literally exploded in a cacophony of noise, Sola wailing with her hackles reaching for the sky, the television locked in a death gaze; her fiery breath warming the room perceptibly. Nigel and Mrs. Author found themselves launched from the couch by this wall of noise and hot breath and fur - landing somewhere near the kitchen, deafened and spattered in drool.

Nigel: I'll never forget that moment. The headache is with me to this day.

Sola:
ROAR

Author: That did make a lasting impression. I tossed my laptop aside, coffee spilling in to the remote as I attempted to ascertain the source of Sola's distress. She ran at the television, screaming and fussing.

It was a dog. She sees them all (
but only dogs - nothing else has ever elicited a response). With the passing of years we have observed and learned, eventually coming to the realization that dog movies, Animal Planet, dog shows - all were now off limits unless the family was properly equipped with ear muffs prior to engagement. Sola despises canines delivered to our home via airwaves, satellite or cable: She does not discriminate.

One must imagine our surprise when a few weeks ago, the family settled in front of the TV bellies full from dinner, selecting an animal free program only to hear -

Sola:
ROAR

Nigel: What the bejesus was tha-

Sola:
ROAR

Author: Sola was berserk, her eyes bulging from their sockets, throat open wide and going full bore.

Truffles: I came to this party late, the rest of you should have warned me. You have lived with her for years after all.

Author: Sorry Fudgepants, this one came as a complete surprise. Having passed hundreds of evenings with Sola in front of the television I was not prepared for what I witnessed. There in front of the TV - standing upright for a closer good look, howling with total abandon, was Sola in full-on TV dog attack mode. As the rest of us gathered our wits and replaced our underwear I looked up at the screen to see what was to blame for this latest outbreak of Sola rage.

Sola:
ROAR

Author: I'm struggling for an explanation this one, so I'll just say it: Sola was barking at Celine Dion while she sang at the Grammy nomination concert.

Nigel: Come on, she might be a little horsey...then again, I'm partial to the long face thing.

Author: Stop that.

Truffles: Maybe it's 'cause she's Canadian.





Author: Hey! That's a cheap shot Fudgepants.

Truffles: Then how do you explain it?

Author: I really cannot. She seems a lovely person, and has an amazing voice.

Nigel: Those legs aren't too bad either, they kind of remind me of...me.

Author: All of you knock it off. I know Sola is losing it, but Celine Dion is not a dog!

Sola:
ROAR

Author: Sola has never been the same. If I leave the radio on and Celine comes on, she rises again to her back legs, eyes glazed over in a death stare, and stumbles around in a zombie trance.

Sola:
ROAR

Nigel: Creeps me right out.




Author: I think we had better stop here. Sola is agitated again, the TV is off; the Grammys are almost a month away, and we have the radio turned way down.


Sola: Drove all night my butt.




62 comments:

  1. Ahahaha I love your picture.
    Thanks for coming by! We will be buying lots of stuffies for Elmo :)

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  2. I have never liked Celine Dion either, but I like most of the dogs on Animal Planet. Its like havin' pals over except you don't have to share treats. A good deal.

    Lighten up, Sola

    Kisses,
    Stella

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  3. I think Celine probably hit one of those pitches only dogs can hear! Sola was probably suffering! When I hear Celine on the radio I have the urge to change the station for the same reason! I'd rather hear dogs bark "Jingle Bells."

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  4. Oh, too funny. Love the photo blurbs!

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  5. OMD....you are so funny Sola! Sorry Nigel and Truffles that you had to suffer but what a great story! :)

    Nala

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  6. OMdoG... wait till Celine Dion reads about this!! Heehee..
    Hershey has a thing about soccer matches on the TV too. Her Border Collie insticts are in full swing and she attempts to herd the players (no, I am not kidding) with the typical Border Collie herding moves. It is hilarious to watch --- until one day she decided to jump into the TV. (No Border Collies or Television was hurt)

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  7. That is awesome. The two Borders we had never noticed TV. Sola was the first of many.

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  8. Celine sings notes only dogs can hear. Me's don't like her either. She hurts my ears. Me's also likes to watch dogs on TV but nothing else.

    Levi

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  9. You go, Sola. Next time, maybe you can tinkle on the tv when she is singing. Anything to put us out of our misery.

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  10. BOL! Ya! Can't imagine if Celine Dion gets to read about this! Too funny BOL!

    Cheers
    Bee Bee

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  11. So so funny! Love the blurby zombie photo!
    Slobbers xx

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  12. Ooh, your blog does make me giggle!

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  13. You are just too darn funny, Sola!

    Love ya lots,
    Maggie and Mitch

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  14. Woos is amazing!!! I like to watch the Animal Planet...but I'm not too keen on the hooman kinds...I do not know this hooman you speak of...but I'm sure my mommy does. HaRooooo!!!

    **turning off the radio***
    Mya Boo Boo

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  15. Chester says that Sola needs an ipod filled with Marvin Gaye songs to drown out Celine. This should also get her in the mood for when Mr. Author comes home.

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  16. Hi Sola, Luna hasn't experienced Celine yet on the tv, but likes to watch video games being played. I will now be prepaired for when Celine is on the tv and Luna is in the room!!!

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  17. I've been laughing out loud reading this. Great post. Isn't life with dogs great?

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  18. Ya know Sola, I don't really care for Ms. Dion either. You have impeccable taste!

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  19. Hee Hee! Snort Snort!
    That's pretty funny. We think her face is more horsey than doggy but to each his own.

    Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

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  20. Sola, we need to get you on tape. You are quite the critic.

    Slobbers,
    Mango

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  21. Not much of a Celine fan myself. I haven't introduced her voice to the furkids. Maybe it sounds like a dog whistle to them? Or maybe my kids will mistake it for a squirrel call / squawker and come running for treats.

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  22. You have us howling with laughter here. We absolutely need a video of the ROAR!

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  23. Zephyr711:01 AM

    This is not very nice. Celine Dion is a nice person and you should not make fun of her.

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  24. I think somebody just missed the point...entirely :)

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  25. Yeah, people who don't have dogs don't know nuffink! I love any TV show with animals in, Mum worries I'll pick up bad habits from the naughty dogs on the dog wisperer, I love dog shows and to be perfectly honest, I embarrassingly have been caught several times looking behind the TV. Keeps Mum busy dusting my nose marks off the TV too. Happy Tv watching everydog!
    Snuffs
    George

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  26. Hello Nigel, Sola, Truffles and family! This post is so funny. Mom is still giggling.. :D

    First of all, thank you very much for coming by our blog and leaving your cute pawprints on our guestbook!

    Negel, we all have to agree with you. We thought Celine was a bit horsey when we saw her at the first time. We can't stop barking when we see dogs... or let's say animals on the TV. Oh yes, we love watching TV. When Celine was appeared on the screen, we couldn't figure out if she was a human or not. hehehe..

    Yes, Yes, Celine Dion is a great singer. She seems very lovely pawson and yah... she is a Quebecois! :)

    Momo & Pinot

    ps: We'd love to add your names to our friends list. Hope it's ok with you.

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  27. BOL! I don't notice the tv unless there is a dog on either. I hasn't seen Celine Dion yet though.
    ~lickies, Ludo

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  28. Woof! Too FUN to read ... great writing. Woof! Sugar

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  29. That is too funny, at least you are protected even if it is from the T.V. I do not watch T.V. here, mom never has it on. Ever!!! =(

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  30. "Chester's Mom said...

    Chester says that Sola needs an ipod filled with Marvin Gaye songs to drown out Celine. This should also get her in the mood for when Mr. Author comes home."

    I just caught this and am still cracking up. :)

    It's evident that someone read That's Just Wrong

    I caught a lot of flak for that one!

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  31. What an interesting story! Dannan doesn't reach much to the t.v. - certain dog barks and horses' neighs only. I don't think he really reacts to what he sees; it's sound based only. Sola, you are one of a kind!
    The Girl

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  32. we HATE TV dogs, and are not really fans of Celine Dion either. those commercials for disneyland get us barking too. we think that TV is like a window and Bailey always runs around to the back of the TV to look for the offenders that he saw on it.

    woofs!

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  33. Glad ta meet ya! Stop by R blog anytime! Don't furget to sign R guest book.

    -da boys, Cosmos & Juneau-

    Pee Ess - We likes to watch TV with R mommy. She watches a lot of SciFi with creatures going GRRRRRR & other noises.

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  34. I don't know where the idea that dogs can't see TV came from, probably from some arrogant non-dog owner, but Misty the alpha Poodle enjoys a variety of shows and insists that the other dogs pay attention to them.

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  35. G'day Pals,

    Thanks for following my blog.
    Are you pals listed on dogswithblogs.com.au?
    BTW, my mum thinks Celine Dion is a dog, but I think that's kind of insulting to dogs.

    xxx Asta (Oz)

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  36. I am more inclined to believe this story with video proof...I'm just saying. ;-)

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  37. It's the real deal. I even muted the TV to make sure it was not the sound that had offended her.

    I'd have to keep a calendar of Celine appearances in order to obtain the requested footage. You may as well ask me to become a hairdresser or interior decorator.

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  38. Gee, I would have thought it was the SOUND that ticked Sola off. We howl when dogs howl on tv or the internet or a doorbell rings somewhere.

    love & wags,
    River

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  39. I suppose by now you've heard that urban legend that dogs can't see/watch TV. Har, har, har. As we both know, Animal Planet can set us perceptive canines off as if there were a live pack of lions, seals, meerkats, polar bears, Cesar Milan's dogs, etc. RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN LIVING ROOMS!!!

    As far as noise sensitivity, I've never been bothered by singing, not even when I've heard the worst Idol contestant. BUT when I hear the ratatat of a drum or any other kind of rhythmic beat, my hackles raise and I feel compelled to barkbarkbark and defend my space.

    Your pal,
    Fenway

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  40. She just wants you to know that she has her own tastes too..

    Big Sloppy Kisses
    Gus, Louie and Callie

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  41. Thanks for giving me a good laugh reading your post!
    I wonder what Celine Dion thinks about it!
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

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  42. I chase Wii tennis balls right through the big screen t.v. with wild abandon, so I can fully believe in your viewing displeasure of Celine Dion. What idiot said dogs don't recognize television? No treats for him!

    Gus, Bloodhound of Alaska

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  43. Sola is exceptionally perceptive.

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  44. Hey thanks for dropping by my blog..;)hehe..hmm...i dunno who is celion dion..but mummy says she very famous...hmm...will she gave us yummy treats?*scratch head*

    licks,
    Sabrina

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  45. We love dogs on the TV too and bark like mad! Our mum always laughs at your blog and suggests you get Sola a Celine Dion CD of her own. (we don't know who she is!)Alternatively you could always let her watch Titanic and see her reaction to 'The Heart must Go On'.
    It is not a well known fact but us dogs are not adverse to some light entertainment!
    love and kisses
    Martha & Bailey xx

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  46. Sola-
    I think you should take a gander at this video from Celine.. dedicated to her best friends.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zrx_1d81TDc

    You may change your mind. But regardless... we are not fans either.
    Norwood

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  47. BOL!!! I think I'll fire that up at work lest I unwittingly facilitate a Sola meltdown...

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  48. that is hilarious! we can't watch the dog whisperer thanks to my pups, but we've never tried celine. a test for this week...

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  49. Hello!
    That is a very funny story! I like to bark at the tv sometimes too! I growl at tv doggies but I also bark bark barked at James Blunt on the TV before (he was wearing a hoodie, he looked very scary to me!)
    -Tibby
    PS: I added you to my friends list on my bloggy! I hope that's ok!

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  50. LOL! Sola, you're too funny!

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  51. Hi there! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I am really looking forward to getting to know all of you. I can tell already that you are a fun bunch. :)
    I am exactly the same way with dogs on tv, Sola - even cartoon dogs!!
    I hope you weren't angry at Celine Dion cause she is Canadian... I am Canadian!! (As a side note, I don't like her either...)
    Love Clover xo

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  52. I've been tagged, now it's your turn:

    Open a document or file folder,
    Click on the fifth folder and then the fifth photo.
    Post the photo and describe it.
    Then tag 5 other bloggers.

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  53. The Mop watches the TV if a dog or horse comes on he barks and runs behind the sofa

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  54. You are way to funny. I agree C. Dion is not a dog but her voice must sound like one to you.
    I would rather play outside too.
    Love Ruby

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  55. to be honest, I saw C.D. live a few years back, and I felt like howling too!

    Very funny tale! Marvin does not even register the television, never has.

    Never been interested in Celine either!!

    Must be those high notes and as we say here when Celine hoves into view, (albeit very originally ;o( ), "Why the long face?" - oooops I will get my coat and go from here in disgrace. Jeannie ;o)))))Marvin's Mama

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  56. That is hilarious! My dogs pretty much ignore the tv and radio. But, let the mail come, someone talk outside, or drive by and they go beserk.

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  57. I love reading your blog, you are funny.

    Love,
    Homer

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  58. Hilarious. If you could just get Sola a spot as a judge on American Idol, you'd be all set. I can see it now. :)

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  59. Good taste Sola! We aren't big fans either! We would love to see you go crazy on the tv though-- do you have video?
    xoxoxoxo,
    The Puppies

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  60. Lol! It's so true...(the TV thing, not the Celine being a dog thing) My newest hound dog WATCHES tv. None of the other 4-legged kids pay any attention but as soon as a canine enters the screen, his focus is up front and center -ears perked, eyes following and tail high-flagged. Luckily I don't have to avoid channels or radio; he seems to be more inquisitive than loud ;)

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  61. love it! my other half used to lodge with a lady who had a little dog which chased the blue balls on teh snooker on telly (only the blue balls - he had a blue ball he played with at home) which makes you wonder if they really are colour blind...

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