Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Deconstruction



I like sheetrock. It looks nice. It's much better than bare 2X4s. And even better than sheetrock with holes in it. Sigh.....

Nigel: Have I mentioned that Sola isn't smart? Wanna know what the humans nicknamed her? Shortbus. When I say Sola isn't smart, I really mean it. Sola was bred in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont. Never heard of it? Think Deliverance banjo music, weekend cousin swaps and snake curches. Getting the picture? Oops, time to lick myself. Oh, that's right - you humans can't do that. Poor fools.

Anyway, I'm sticking with treats. We get all kinds. No need to eat walls.

Author: Perhaps we could have additional toes implanted in Sola's front paws. Then she could just flip us the bird. I know she would.

Sola: I ain't real smart like, but y'all best lay off'n me. I'm just a young'n. And besides, where I come frum, you ain't gonna git good book learnin'. And just what is the matter with snake churches. Sounds like fun to me.
Ok, seriously:
So I have this thing. I really like big, open rooms. And if I feel that a wall is not in the right place (provided that such wall is not a load-bearing one), I'm going to try to remove it. How, you ask? One bite at a time...

And really, that wall does not fit the Feng Shui remodel that I have in mind for this place. Nigel, if you think you are so smart, why is it that the humans can't let you off of your leash unless you are fenced in?

Nigel: I'm trying to run away from you. You and your pee stains. And I really don't feel like having the roof fall on me when you eat the wrong wall. I told the humans I like my ladies dumb and blonde, but this is more than I bargained for.

1 comment:

  1. I'm talking to ya from the Rainbow Bridge:
    Wall eating, yummy. Leave teeth marks, let them know who's the boss.
    It is very smoothing, like a Wall of Tums.
    Try the baseboard too. Make it into toothpicks. Oh I ate lots in my 14 years, even a calculator, stupid thing and a TV control thing, and a deck, it was rotten. How long did I wait for renovations? I had to get the uprights off their butts.
    RIP Ruby Denmark Stinkybutt (and that was my name.)

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